First Comes Love, then Comes Marriage.

They said, it's normal to have cold feet before your wedding. But, what if you're getting cold feet even way before a wedding happens, you're just nervous being in a relationship.

I have been in a 7 year relationship with my boyfriend and we spent most of our times apart, 5 years to be exact, but we are very happy together. We may not be perfect but we are happy together. I love how he's the only guy that's ever to always want to work things out when everything is falling apart and that's when I know I got a good one and a keeper.

If I'm so in love then why am I getting cold feet, right?

When we started our relationship, I never knew how much we grow together. We were both just teenagers, and I truly thought we were going to find someone else in college and just broke things off because I didn't know I could do a long distance relationship thing, but at the same time I kinda prayed that we'll make it.

I tried to never put my stakes high because I'm too scared of being disappointed. I don't want to wish to marry this guy when I don't know what the future holds for the both of us. Of course we've talked about marrying each other and have families together, but I'm not sure when will be the right time for the both of us.

I understand that loving someone means you accept your significant's other flaws. Yes, I can for sure say that I accept his flaws, for now. I can still tolerate his flaws, but what if we were to face to a major problem and because of his flaws, we were to be dragged even more to hell? For example, he has a habit of procrastinate things that it affects him graduating late. That's something I can tolerate, and I am willing to wait until he graduates. But then, what if that habit came up when we finally got married? What if we both faces a more adult-ish problem and that flaw of his just made us suffer even more? I bet there's something about me too that must annoys him or annoys the hell out of the relationship.

And I'm actually freaking out whether I can accept his flaws or not when my mom wanted me to get married before I'm 25, which is 2 years from now. I wish I just know that he's my future and not just me wishing that he is my future. I guess what I'm saying is I want to know that if I'll have a future with him that we'll be good to each other, and everything will be fine.

I wish I knew the future, and I wish I had a relationship like Jess and Gabriel Conte. Religious aside, our relationship faced the same things as Jess and Gabriel, but I guess what made it so different is that Gabe married her right away, which in reality doesn't really happen to ordinary people like us. We were also at a point where we just wanted to elope so that we could stop saying goodbye, but then reality checks in and reminds us that we're just normal people who is tied down to other responsibility in life. What if the reason why I'm having this jitters is because I knew him too well that I'd predict the worst in our relationship and it's just all in my mind.

WHICH IS EXACTLY MY POINT. I am stressing out because I'm stressing myself out. This is very confusing.


CONVERSATION

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